"The Thought Sits With Me" is Ruth Beddow’s debut pamphlet. Exploring what it means to dwell, daydream and obsess, the collection charts the various rupture points and upheavals of youth.

Opening in the crib of a suburban box room, the reader is ushered through a sprawling environment of primary school changing rooms, doctor’s surgeries, student halls and the home of a dead neighbour. Between these shifting walls, the mundane and the unimaginable become precariously intertwined, as physical terrain moulds to that of a changing body and restless mind.

Half-bleak, half-hopeful, this is a coming-of-age pamphlet which navigates the blurred lines of an ambiguous world. the thought sits with me is a candid contemplation dedicated to anyone who has ever felt weighed down by their thoughts, or decided to leave them behind.

Ruth Beddow

Ruth is a London-based, Midlands-born poet who also works in local government policy. She was shortlisted for the New Poet’s, Plough, Prole and Teignmouth Prizes in 2021. Her work has been published by Wild Court, The Poetry Village, Prole, Write Out Loud and Ink, Sweat & Tears, among others. "The Thought Sits With Me" (Nine Pens, 2022) is her first pamphlet.



First, the home

we barely remember:

lime lathered walls   

and offcut carpet

laid hurriedly

by a neighbour;


the burglar 

who strips the rooms 

of every mundane treasure

but leaves your jelly limbs

bald halo skull

to dream behind the bars;


a paddling pool              

a fear of wet         

the lesson wasps are bad                        

and pipistrelles – good.



every night of July

flit between the conifer trees;



every August noon

chimes by your driveway


for soft serve and screwballs


then vanishes

in a beat –


as your brummie voice calls

as you chase after it 

through honeyed

suburban heat.